Monday, February 28, 2011

Lolita, Vampires, and I

Despite what some ladies might claim, no one is "born a Lolita" (no really, you did not slide out of the womb decked out in Angelic Pretty). Of course, people can have predispositions and tastes that might lead them to enjoy the lolita aesthetic more than the average person. Regardless, we all arrived there some how, whether it was through a friend, the internet, a band, a movie, et cetera.
How did I get into Lolita? In a roundabout way, vampires. And my fairy Gothmother. It goes something like this....

 Once upon a time, within a black hole in the universe known as Front Royal, Virginia...
...I was an angsty, nerdy little spookykid in 7th grade looking for a place to fit in. In a small, conservative town, this is not easy to do (especially if you are a non-christian liberal). Books were my main comfort, so I spent most of my time after school at the little public library. One day, whilst I was attempting use the ancient library computer, a Goth girl appeared next to me and complimented my totally sweet dragon necklace. Several years older than I, she was the first example of a Goth I'd ever seen IRL (the overall first having been Lydia from Beetlejuice). We got to talking about books, she was reading Blood And Gold and asked if I'd heard of Anne Rice. I hadn't, so off we went to the shelves. We spent the next couple of hours together, during which she showed me not only Anne Rice, but Carmilla (one of the first published vampire stories) and several other vampire genre staples. After that day, I never ever saw her again, not once for the rest of the two years after that I remained in Front Royal. I never even got her name. But, I checked out The Vampire Lestat and I was bitten, er, smitten.
Fueled by my new found love of the undead, I began writing short stories about a girl and a vampire, and decided to dress them in a Gothic fashion, like the strange but lovely lady I had met. This lead me to investigate not only clothing, but the whole of the subculture, including music. Though obviously not actually a Goth band, I came across Malice Mizer in the process, and was thusly introduced to Gothic Lolita. I wouldn't consider myself a Lolita for several years to come, but the idea was planted and Gothic Lolita attire featured prominently in my artwork forever after.
Old sketchbook drawings.

I slowly began building a Goth wardrobe of my own. I experimented with all sorts of looks for the first couple years (and yes, I definitely had my babybat times). But, overall, my one true love was Victorian goth, because at the heart of it, I just wanted to be some sort of eccentric vampire aristocrat. Eventually (around my Junior year of high school), I realized that I didn't just have to express that desire solely on special occasions. I could be as fancy as I wanted to everyday if it made me happy! I even made up a silly little backstory to go with my choice of dress. Basically, "what would a modern-day lady vampire nostalgic for the frills of her human youth wear? Why, Gothic Lolita of course!" I'd previously experimented a little with wearing Lolita thanks to a friend who made her own dresses, but didn't actually begin wearing it out and about until those last two years of highschool. This dress from Retroscope Fashions (also mentioned in my last post about mourning attire) was my first Lolita purchase.
Last year, I joined my local Lolita community, MD Grandeur, and Lolita really took over my life! I shifted to the other end of the Goth-to-Lolita spectrum, nowadays I only occasionally wear trad-goth or Victorian goth ensembles (not that they are that disparate though) and wear Gothic Lolita almost everyday. I'm lucky enough to have a job that allows me to wear what I want and a supportive family that doesn't give me a hard time for my fashion choices.

Oh, and my love affair with Monsieur Lestat de Lioncourt is still going strong ;)

In front of Anne Rice's house in New Orleans, last year.


  1. Hello! how are you? Very nice your story:), also has something similar to mine. Anne Rice with her wonderful stories have greatly influenced me. I loved your way of discovering this wonderful world, I see we have similar taste:) Also listen Malize Mizer (especially, the era of Klaha), but do not know why I stayed in the Gothic style "classic" will me away a bit of Japanese music and listening to other bands followed. (Although I admit that The Candy Spooky Theater entertains and fascinates me ^-^)
    Another thing in common:) I also love the Victorian era that I have so much influence that time, but I would have liked to have some gothic lolita dress in my closet. Why is it that I never had? Also never too late, I think of all the "subcultures" the Gothic (all styles) is the most original, not only for aesthetics, in which each wears as he likes and feels good, but that is culture and art in all aspects.
    Sorry for my English, I'm from Argentina and I know the basics of English, so I use the translator to comment :)... Ahh! love your picture on the Anne Rice, I want to go too ^-^


  2. I followed the link to the dress you bought and it's gorgeous!

  3. Eek, you've been to Anne Rice's house! *turns green with envy*

    I really admire your look, so it was interesting to read how it developed, glad to know you had your babybat moments like the rest of us! ^^

  4. I really want to be Lolita. I have one Kuro Lolita dress(this means all black). I have something LIKE a Goth Loli dress, but it looks more 'maiden style'. If I add white accessorizes to my Kuro loli dress, it *MIGHT* look *something* like Gothic Lolita. I know I am nothing near it. I know. Okay? I know that.

  5. Hi! I just found your blog and started following it today. I really like your story about how you became Goth. It reminds me much of my own story (as I'm sure many of us have the same history of not fitting in, etc). I especially love your concept of being able to dress as fancy as you want no matter what the occasion. I totally agree!!

    I hope you will take a moment to look at my blog. I just started it last week. I am focusing on "career-appropriate" Gothy-inspired wardrobe, and on what I wear to go to clubs and other fun events.

    Looking forward to reading more on your blog!

  6. I loved this story, too. It reminds me of my youth. The Vampire Lestat was my first Anne Rice book too, although it followed my early discovery of Poe and Into The Dark by Victor Kellerher. I was a romantic/ everything goth in my teens (although I was never a mall goth) but now I am obsessed with all things Victoriana as well as science fiction, Steampunk, urban fantasy, etc. I will always come back to the elegant classic books like that, and hopefully one day, my own writing will inspire others!


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